I miss the simpler times when TED talks weren`t so popular, TEDx was a rare occurrence and most talks online were really worth the time. Good thing back then I made use of that state of TED – I would listen to a talk probably every day for a solid couple of months. I can`t say all of them made an impact on me – even most – but bits of some really stuck with me.

Most of the TED talks I stumble upon nowadays I don`t find so valuable – the pool is just way too big now and I am way less impressionable. So I thought it would be a good idea to pull out those still lurking in my mind, dust them off and rewatch them now, years later to see if they are as good as I remember.

It is a strange thing to revisit stuff like this after several years. On the one side I remember why these topics were important for me and what essence I took out of these talks. On the other side the older me notices different things and points my younger self missed.

So here they are. The 5 TED talks I still vividly remember, years after I watched them.

Looks aren’t everything. Believe me, I’m a model. | Cameron Russell

Two things that I remember to this day, 7 years after I watched this talk. First – how the speaker Cameron Russell changed her clothes on stage and with them my perception of her. I never thought of myself as a person, who judges people solely based on their looks. Well, that was stupid. Of course, I am – but get this, I would call it “assuming” rather than “judging”. We assume based on looks all the time – if you are wearing a sports outfit, I am going to assume you practice some sport. It happens kind of automatically, it is just important not to get too caught up in our assumptions. Also, we need to be aware that the same goes for us – we get judged based on our looks and not necessarily by “superficial” people, but by EVERYONE. On the flipside that also means you are not a “bad person” is you assume things about people based on their looks – just be aware of it, and try to keep an open mind.

Second – retouching is a small component of why advertisements with pictures of gorgeous models are deceiving. We all know the retouching game, we are used to it and we also know that even without the retouching they look gorgeous. The more important is that the pictures we see are constructions made by whole teams of people – creative directors, photographers, hairdressers, stylists, designers, and more. I find this so profound that I will say it again – all pictures of models are creative constructions of whole teams.

Knowing this instantly made me free – I stopped comparing myself to girls on billboards and Instagram and see them more as well-executed creative ideas meant to build a certain image. Till this very day, I am thankful to Cameron Russell for sparing me years of continued comparison and inevitable self-loathing.

The power of vulnerability | Brené Brown

This talk won’t give you the tools to access the power of vulnerability, but for me personally even opening up to this idea was groundbreaking. Brené Brown is not a motivational speaker or a spiritual guru who will tell you you need to open up to the world – she is a  is a research professor who loves to measure stuff and really struggled with the idea that being vulnerable is a good thing. Give this idea a chance, if you haven’t yet. I promise you will breathe lighter.

What I learned from 100 days of rejection |
Jia Jiang

This talk is as funny and heartwarming as also insightful. The fear of rejection is among the most widely spread fears and I can’t imagine how many people it stopped from becoming leaders, inventing stuff, meeting other people, or simply being happy. And Jia Jiang (thanks to Jason Comely) found how to overcome this fear – by exploring rejection and giving in to it. Along his journey, he found out some unexpected wholesome stuff about which he tells in this hilarious talk that will keep you warm for long.

The art of asking | Amanda Palmer

So this talk might not be as relatable as the other ones here, because she mostly talks about the relationship between artist and fan in the music industry. But hear me out – it is a reminder for the beauty in human connection in general. I was never good at asking people to do something for me and I still am struggling with the idea that well they might WANT to. Such a memorable talk.

What women believe about their own sexual pleasure | Peggy Orenstein

I had a great upbringing, an always healthy attitude towards and relationship with sexuality, supportive family and friends and access to all the information in the world basically. And yet I cried while watching this video. Not just about myself per se, but that the things she says are so widely spread and I had never heard about them in such a blunt matter.

I originally watched it on the TED website where there is no comment section and now that I realized it is also on YouTube I was eager to read some comments. Fat chance – I am stunned and disappointed that the comments on this video are disabled. I don’t get it how we can live in such times when sex is all around in the open and yet the real talk about it is still so shallow.

Bonus: Inside the mind of a master procrastinator | Tim Urban

Procrastination has always been a trigger word for me – I fear and despise it so much, that I avoid at all cost to face it. Even though we are actually roomies… Tim Urban won’t give you the tools to eradicate procrastination (like I hoped) but through his funny remarks and hilarious drawings it seems less intimidating. And at the end there is one big reminder – some tasks that depend solely on ourselves have no due date meaning they are most vulnerable to become victims of our procrastination. Let’s not let them.

The frustration is not that people couldn’t achieve their dreams, it’s that they weren’t even able to start chasing them.

Tim Urban

I would love to know which TED talks are your most valued ones! Leave a comment below or contact me via email or social media.

Featured photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash.