How did it all start? I can’t even remember clearly. I believe it was what they call “destiny”. Many times in my life, I had seen you somewhere along the way. You were actually always there, weren`t you? Patiently waiting for me to turn my head, to truly see you, to pay attention to you, and eventually fall in love with you… As I later did. To give you a chance to show me who you are was just enough. I can`t say it was love from the first sight, but I could feel that something big was happening. At our very first encounter, I could already tell you are going to play a big role in my life. Firstly, the distance and the language barrier frightened and discouraged me. So many kilometers separate us that sometimes you seem like a mirage – luring, surreal, and deceptive. I don`t understand your language and many of the habits you have seem odd and unnatural for me. And what about you? Surely, that goes also about your perception of me. Will you be able to overcome the fact that I am a loud, hot-blooded, headstrong eastern European? I deeply doubted we would be able to find common ground.
They said my love for you is too much. They said it happened only because you were new and exciting. They said that soon I was going to see how fundamentally different we are and realize there is no use in trying to understand you, because it will never get to a point where we fully feel comfortable with each other. I could see the bits of truth in their words and I tried to escape from your captivating presence, to move on like I never met you. But you know what they say:
“A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions.”
Once I came to know you and the endless new experiences I was facing because of you, a world without you seemed too gray to bear.
So I did the only possible thing – went with my gut. You have captured my heart anyway, why mourn over that fact instead of celebrating that a thing, which gets me so excited, motivated, and happy exists? I accepted the fact that 8226 kilometers separate us, that we meet only circumstantially and through screens, that I don`t understand your language and that it would take me a lot of time and effort to visit you. When I cleared all that of the way, it became a new, brighter day! A day, in which I can love you wholeheartedly without hesitation, and enjoy learning more about your culture, language, habits and way of living.
I realized that if we were not this different, I probably would have never fallen for you.
I realized that if we were not this different, I probably would have never fallen for you. It is exactly the differences that make our acquaintance so exciting! Barriers are just obstacles that need more effort to get pass through and actually the bigger they seem, the more motivated I get to overcome them. Since I met you pushing boundaries and jumping into the unknown has become my second nature and I am thankful to you for not only making me happy but also showing me how brave and determined I can be. The fact that I cannot fully understand you and do not know many things about you doesn`t make my love any less genuine.
It is true that I fell in love with another and it may seem like cheating. Yes, I am in love with you South Korea, a country and a culture that is not my native, but don`t get me wrong – I am proud of my heritage and wound never want it to be other. There is plenty of space in my heart for both you and my motherland. One doesn`t contradict with the other. At the end of the day, it is even a good thing I am just a foreigner, because this way I can see you in all of your glory from a far.
Love you always,
Emi